Psychologist Mariko Visserman from the University of Sussex in England has led a comprehensive review of numerous studies on relationships, unveiling intriguing differences in how men and women perceive and experience romantic partnerships. The research, which includes contributions from Humboldt University of Berlin, the University of Minnesota, and Vrije University Amsterdam, highlights that men anticipate greater benefits from romantic relationships compared to women. This discovery is rooted in traditional gender norms that discourage male vulnerability from childhood, as noted by Iris Wahring. The findings, published in Behavioral and Brain Sciences, draw on over 50 studies exploring mixed-gender relationships.
One study within this review reveals that U.S. adults view three-year-old boys who are described as caring and emotional less favorably than those exhibiting traditional masculine traits. This societal bias discourages boys from expressing vulnerability early on. "From an early age, boys are discouraged from expressing vulnerability," stated Iris Wahring. As a result, men often face challenges in forming supportive emotional connections outside romantic contexts, which can impact their relationship dynamics.
Visserman's review emphasizes the importance of being part of a supportive network. She noted, "that we all need to feel embedded in a supportive network of relationships." This is echoed by Elaine Hoan, a social psychologist at the University of Toronto, whose research aligns with these observations. "This means challenging traditional gender norms that stigmatize male vulnerability and promoting the value of more meaningful friendships for men," Hoan remarked, suggesting that fostering strong friendships could enhance men's emotional intelligence and relationship skills.
The study also found that men tend to experience significant mental and physical health benefits from being in a relationship, making them more motivated to find a partner than women. Furthermore, men are less likely to initiate breakups but struggle more with the emotional aftermath when separations occur. Visserman explains that the research "does a wonderful job in explaining how gendered norms and experiences early in life can set the stage for the differences between men and women’s relationship benefits and vulnerabilities later on."
Moreover, single men generally report experiencing less satisfaction with their single status compared to single women, even when analyzed across various Western and Eastern cultures. Hoan observed, "that single men are typically less happy with their singlehood than single women, even across different Western and Eastern cultural contexts." This underscores the complex interplay of societal expectations and personal fulfillment in shaping relationship dynamics for men.
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