Mark Travers, PhD, a relationship psychologist, notes how weekends provide the perfect opportunity for couples to engage in intentional together time. As the chief psychologist at Awake Therapy, he specializes in web-based psychotherapy, counseling and coaching. Over the past three decades, he has been passionately devoted to discovering the keys to successful relationships. We spoke with his lab to learn more about five practices that happy couples in serious relationships schedule time for on the weekend to keep their relationships warm.
Travers argues that limited, intentional time together, without distractions, is imperative for couples. A little less happy are those distracted by technology, versus those who connect with each other without their phones. He describes how “they turned their phones off.” This incredibly simple act can go a long way toward improving the quality of their time together.
Unplugged, one-on-one time is crucial for deepening a relationship. Many couples miss the opportunity and end up creating a workweek 2.0 on their weekends. This isolating pattern creates little space for authenticity, vulnerability and connection. Travers cautions against letting poorly managed weekends bleed through to a second workweek. Without this connection, they can be void of the emotional intimacy that partners desperately seek.
According to Travers, relationships thrive on rituals. He’s convinced that creating a stable weekend routine will help couples loosen up and feel safe, and therefore playful, with one another. It’s soothing, he explains, when you can come home to a partner and be sure that the weekend will bring something that feels familiar. To be very intentional with what you’re going to do is important because that’s the only time you really got. He and his wife have learned the worth of this tact.
One of those ways is practicing “parallel play,” a child psychology-inspired approach that’s wickedly effective. This practice involves two individuals participating in their preferred activities separately but alongside each other, creating a shared space without the pressure to constantly interact. For couples, the bonding time can be truly magical. Make time for a quiet morning coffee together, a family walk through the neighborhood, or practice meals without phones or laptops at the table.
It’s equally good for them, Travers says, to want to be alone after a long week at the office. He recommends that they be able to meet those two requirements—privacy and community—at the same time. This balance serves to not only protect individual well-being but deepen connection and build intimacy.
These fun, engaging activities can help couples have even better weekends when they need to reconnect. Set a standing weekly meeting with a glass of rosé to map out your week. Build collaborations over collective outings, and see authentic connections arise when you take on tasks—like cleaning up their neighborhood—with a custom playlist. Simple rituals such as Sunday morning pancakes or board game nights can add joy and togetherness to a couple’s weekend routine.
Additionally, Travers points out that being sexually fulfilled is key to being happy in any relationship. Couples that make intimacy a priority are more in tune and more satisfied with their marriages.
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